This is a question I am asked a lot by mystified male patients most of whom regard the clitoris as some sort of mythical beast akin to griffin or the phoenix.So I thought I'd take this chance to set a few things straight about this nasty little beast and maybe prove once and for all that it does exist and is not a female plot to make men feel inadequate.
The clitoris, often known as the "bitch bump" or "sex tumour" is the female equivalent of a penis and as such it's primary function is urination.
When not being used for passing water the clitoris also doubles up as the females primary route to pleasure.
In some primitive cultures it is said that men pleasure the disgusting cyst like lump with their mouths, But I must stress this is mostly unfounded legend as I doubt any sane man would want to put that thing in his mouth.
Apart from it being covered in the nastiest of germs, I have it on good authority that it has a strong taste of aniseed and smells like cat litter.
If your wife or girlfriend insists on you touching it, I would recommend doing so in medical gloves and old clothes to avoid getting covered in the "Fanny batter" excited females produce at the fulfillment of their sexual desire.
All in all the clitoris is a nasty little thing and best avoided, which is the best advice I can give to any men out there. Moreover its a medically proven fact that women take most of their sexual pleasure from giving pleasure to men and fiddling with your wives "bitch bump" may just encourage her to become a slut and start hanging out in bars asking strange men to rub her slimy sex button.
5 comments:
I think you will find if you check the medical literature, that the lady of the species does indeed use this nasty little piece of apparatus for all her urinary duties. That is why the Latin name for a females sex tumour is "pissus lumpus"
So I suggest in the future before questioning the undoubted knowledge of a world famous doctor and sexual healer to the stars, you do a little research.
Madam, I can assure you that I know my way around the female sexual and urinary parts intimately. I will refer you to the answer I gave above and correct your naive mistake by saying that the small opening you mistakenly believed to play some part in the urinary process is in fact where the lady of the species disperses of surplus wind.
That is why a lot of men believe that women do not Fart, because it is silently released by this ingeniously concealed opening.
So in future I sugest you check your ill informed facts before questioning a bastion of the medical world.
There is nothing wrong with having an opinion. It was just painful to read such incoherent rubbish.
There is nothing wrong with having an opinion. It was just painful to read such incoherent rubbish.
it was meant to be funny but sadly you fail miserably at trying to be a comedian
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