Dr Bamboo's position of the month: The missionary position

In my capacity as the world's foremost healer and hands on sexual therapist, I find that a lot of newly wed couples I see in my private consulting rooms don't have the first idea about the actual mechanics of what some unqualified people still continue to call the "Love making act"
So it falls to me to teach those lovely shy naive virgins the correct procedures for the successful consummation of their happy union.

I always start my sexual counselling sessions with a rigorous in depth interview of the blushing bride, so as to determine her readiness and level of sexual expertise.
It's surprising the number of times a man will have married a slut by accident and only find out after I have subjected her to hours of intensive tear filled questioning.
It's because of this common problem that I have decided to include this regular monthly feature on sexual positions and techniques in the hopes of educating the uneducated male masses on the correct way to rut a woman of the female persuasion.

Now this first position is I think the simplest for beginners to grasp and should be quite satisfactory for all but the most perverted members of society.
This position is achieved by placing the female onto her back and then having the male climb on top, as illustrated in the picture above.
This gives the male an easy entrance into the ladies moist love canal and has the added advantage of it being much harder for him to miss his target and end up in the shit, so to speak.
This position also has the added benefit of allowing the female being rutted to amuse her self watching the television or indeed reading a romance novel over her partners back.

After the male has placed his powerful love staff within the females cave of mystery its usual for him to move it in and out at a speed applicable to his general fitness and overall athletic ability.
These movements should, in a surprisingly short time, be enough for the male to climax and empty what is known as his baby gravy into the female's dirty receptacle.
After this has been completed I always like to encourage the males to sleep as quickly as possible and to avoid unnecessary chit chat as this often leads to rash promises being made and ends only in eventual disappointment for both parties.