Friday, 29 June 2007

Dr Bamboo's position of the month: The style of the dog

As part of my continuing mission to educate my less sexually experienced readers, I'd like to present you this month with a position that only the most perverted of sluts will even consider doing, but which I feel may be of use to some of the less successful gentlemen out there.
I'm speaking of course, of the ones that are so ugly and desperate that they have no alternative but to resort to using filthy street whores.

Now this position is a lot more complicated than last months and should only be attempted by gentlemen with the sufficient length. I recommend
a length of at least five inches as most women's buttocks are extremely large. If you are considering rutting a negroid female I would urge you only to attempt this with a length of at least seven inches as most women of this persuasion have arses like two dwarfs heads in a bag.

To rut a bitch in this position the male should kneel behind the suitably positioned female (as above) and place his erect bitch staff into the females slick sex pouch.
He must then proceed to agitate it in back and forth motion much the same as we learned in the missionary position.

While doing this it is considered polite to slap your bitch's arse cheeks and tell her what a dirty slut she is. Now this isn't set in stone and most filthy talk will suffice, but do try to avoid mentioning other women or indeed for our more filthier readers other men.
A lot of people ask me should I try to reach round and rub the females bitch bump, to this I can only say NO!!!!

If the woman you are rutting in this fashion cannot achieve satisfactory stimulation from a decent sized pole deep within her cunt muffin, then she is in all probability a slut and rubbing her bitch bump will only encourage her.

Friday, 1 June 2007

Help your old friend Dr Bamboo

Dear friends, as you may have read recently on the brilliant News direct and other less reliable media outlets, I have been having a spot of bother with those unqualified dinosaur bastards at the General medical council in London.

Of course all the allegations against me are false and that old bitch has absolutely no proof that the "finger in the vagina" method is anything other than a medically valid way to take a female patients temperature.
I would like to also take this opportunity to thank all the people at News direct who have have stood by me and resolutely fought my righteous corner in this sad and unfortunate matter.

Having said that I still need my faithful readers support, so I am giving you all the opportunity to send me your messages of support, which I will present to the tribunal before they make their final decision.

If you would like to help your old friend Dr Bamboo and show your support for unfettered medical science, please leave your message in the comments section.
God bless you all.
(Except that old bitch!)
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